Gezellig, A Different Kind of Service, WCs: Bathrooms As Profit Centers

GEZELLIG -- No, gezellig is not a city anywhere. It is a state of mind and a way of describing an atmosphere that the Dutch create without thinking about it. If I were to translate gezellig into Californian, it would come out like kickback or chill out or maybe, "Hey why are you in such a hurry to go somewhere all the time? Why don't you relax, take your coat off, and stay awhile. What's your rush?"

In a restaurant, gezellig would sound like this: "Come in, order dinner, but you won't ever get your check until you ask for it. We do not expect that you're in a hurry, and we'll think you're a little wierd if you are. Don't worry about constantly ordering something new -- we expect that you will sit there and talk amongst yourselves as long as you like, and we do not count drinks/hour. Just let us know if you need anything, and don't freak out if the waiter sits down at your table and joins the conversation. Just relax and enjoy yourself."

The concept of service is so different that most Americans get pissed off and assume that all Europeans are shitheads. Because of guaranteed employment for all workers from executives to deli clerks, you are assured a minimum level of mediocrity. Aside from the people who actually do suck, the rest of them just behave differently than Americans. For example, here in America all our consumer transactions have to be social interactions as well. When we walk in a store, we say hello to the clerk, and make small talk as if we knew them. However when we leave the store we don't actually give a shit about the clerk, we only acted as if we did.

In Europe you just walk in the store, don't say hi (unless you actually know the person), get your shit pay and leave. No false social interaction.

I like to say that the check will never come unless you ask for it. They do not eat in such a hurry like we do, so the waiter assumes that maybe you aren't finished yet. Also they are not in your face trying to sell stuff all the time, instead you are expected to ask when you want something.

If you are American, there are certain things you hold sacred – including your privacy in the bathroom. As a country, we don't typically talk to strangers in elevators and bathrooms. Along with this, the men's bathroom is like a locker room -- no women allowed. More so, if a man walked into a woman's bathroom, he would simultaneously be embarassed and reviled by the women present. We have all seen the scene in movies and on TV where a man sends a woman into the bathroom to get his wife for him.

Here is the US I expect free bathrooms that are likely to be dirty or in some way unacceptable. We have all been to gas stations on interstate highways, and we all have our own stories of filth. The only place where I really expect a clean bathroom is in airports and certain well maintained campgrounds, and in my own home.

So when I went to Europe, I had to make an adjustment when in public bathrooms. Using the bathroom is a paying proposition in train stations, bus terminals, and most everywhere else. The only place to find a free bathroom is in airports or on trains (remember, don't shit in the station). You will likely also find free bathrooms in a restaurant where you are a paying customer, maybe.

Because bathrooms are profit centers in Europe, you must pay between 25 cents and a dollar to use the WC. WC stands for Water Closet, so when in public, you look for WC signs to locate bathrooms. This is true in all of Europe. Once you find the WC, there will be an attendant there to take your money. Unless you look sufficiently urgent and promise to pay, you must pay before entering. Toward this end, ALWAYS carry a little change in the local currency. Until the euro is truly implemented, one country will not want to take another countries coins.

The attendant is the person rsponsible for maintaining the bathroom and collecting the money. In some cases the bathroom may truly be a profit center, while in other cases (France) the bathroom is an extension of the socialist system and the person working there is there for lack of any better job.

Mr. Clean in Zurich is the best bathroom I ever went to. After getting off the night train from Vienna, Austria to Zurich, Switzerland, I found the Mr. Clean in the train station. Nice showers, clean towels, great sevice.